When you punish kids, you are using your power of bigness and superior knowledge as weapons to make them do what you want.
When you use rewards, like carrots in front of a donkey, you diminish their dignity and their right to be respected.
But, when you think of your children as your equals, you’re on the road to inspiring good behavior and a desire to contribute to the family group.
“What?” you say. “How can we be equal when I’m older, bigger, more experienced and more educated?”
You and your kids are all human beings who deserve respect and love. If you keep this in mind and act on it as the basic foundation of your relationship with your children, your parenting will change and so will your kids.
Misbehavior has a root, a cause, a reason. When we look at it in individual cases in our families, we can see there is something causing it. Could it be a feeling that a brother or sister is preferred? Is there a feeling of not really belonging to the family group? Is there a lack of self-esteem because of too much criticism and not enough recognition by parents of the positive attributes or actions of the child?
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