girls watching porn

Do you want your child to learn about sex from a pornography site?

“More kids at ever younger ages are accessing pornography online, according to a range of international studies, but there’s not much consensus about what, if anything, should be done by parents or teachers to address the issue.”  This statement comes from a news release from CBC, the Canadian public broadcaster.   An article written by Daniel Schwartz of CBC News on Nov. 17/14, details some of the topics discussed at a symposium in Winnipeg, Canada, entitled “Generation XXX, the Pornification of Our Children”.

Some of the quotes from presenters at the conference are as follows:

  • “The porn industry is the country’s main sex educator of our boys and girls”, said Cornelia Anderson, referring to the situation in the U.S.
  • Cathy Wing, of MediaSmarts, an Ottawa group, related that 23% of students in Grades 7 to 11 say they have searched out pornography online.  Twenty-eight per cent of the boys said they looked for porn at least once a week.  She said “there seems to be less of a stigma about looking for pornography, because everybody’s doing it, than there is for looking for good information about sexuality.” She advised that parents need to talk to kids from an early age, before they become exposed to online porn.

How do we know when to introduce the subject of sexuality to our children?  And how do we do it?

Young children can learn the proper names for all parts of their bodies, and later, parents can be on the alert for questions about differences between male and female genitalia.  I advocate that children be allowed in the bathroom with both parents.  It makes potty training easier, for one thing, and can generate the kinds of questions that are precursors to lessons about sex.  You have to be careful though, as in the old story of the young boy who wanted to know where he came from.  His parents went into a lengthy description of conception and birth and, when they finished, he said,” Oh!  Ryan said he comes from New York.”

In the old days, a lot of kids learned about sex from their friends.  Many parents weren’t comfortable about discussing it and simply didn’t talk about it with their children.  Many girls encountered menstruation for the first time when their first menses appeared.  Today, we’ve come a long way, but there are still parents who are nervous about the subject.  Parents must do some reading, discuss with friends, and get some books to read to their kids starting when the children are very young.  There are excellent books on sex education in libraries and book stores.

Should schools be involved in sex education at an earlier age?  Many parents, sex education activists and therapists think so.

Many parents are naive, thinking that their kids aren’t accessing pornography or looking at it regularly. They may have put filters on their computer to block such sites and feel their family is protected.  An acquaintance of mine told me that her 9 year old son was angry with her one day and said, “You’re a BAD MOMMY!  I’m going to Google ‘bad mommy'”.  He went to the computer, sat down, and a few minutes later, his mom had a light bulb go on in her head and ran to the computer.  Sure enough, he had accessed a porn site filled with “bad mommys”.

boy watching porn

When kids learn about sex from pornography, they don’t learn about sexual intimacy, tenderness and love.  When they encounter it after a foundation of proper sex education at home, they can be taught that it’s big business rather than real life and that it’s there to make money.  It’s parents’ responsibility to instill respect in their kids, respect for their bodies and the bodies of others.  Perhaps then we’ll see less “sexting” and fewer date-related sexual incidents.

Your comments are welcome.  What ideas do you have for parents to help their kids learn about sex?

 

 

 

 

 

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